A Year of Not Buying into Consumerism

Follow my journey as I commit to not buying into consumerism

recent posts

about

  • Day 8-14

    This may be a long post.

    I havent blogged for 7 days even though I initially said I would blog every day.

    This week has been a tough week. I have had deep, energetic shifts which have left me completely broken open and exhausted. I am finding that after the intense wekend of my counselling course I am then processing deeply. This is why I have not blogged. I am also going to change to blogging once a week. This feels more managebale for me with all that I have going on in my life.

    What are these shifts? Why am I being broken open?

    Such deep healing. Its messy, its hard, its emotional, its necessary, its wonderful, its exciting and most of all I am exactly where I am meant to be in my journey.

    I swing from being positive, joyful, and in flow to being sad, crying and in fear. I struggle with the emotional feelings. Grief is also a big one that I am feeling.

    The energetic shifts are between my inner masculine and inner feminine and where I am out of balance and how that is mirrored in the external. I also see where I am balanced as I feel that this also swings. I am working on understanding where the imbalances are so that I can heal and move to union. I am coming home to myself. Slowly.

    This is also directly related to my decision to not buy into consumerism. Seeing where I spend money and why. I bought 2 books yesterday. Books make me happy. The first was Jane Eyre – I studied Jane Eyre for GCSE and a couple of weeks ago this book came into my awareness during a playwright workshop. I want to read it again. The second is a book by Stephen King called Fairy Tale. I havent read any Stephen King before but have watched some of his films and a conversation with a friend a couple of days ago made me curious to read one of his books. Both books were purchased from a local bookseller rather than a chain store.

    Im not sure I could stop buying books. Books have always been important to me. I love language and learning and I love to escape into a good novel. I have always been an avid reader and I read to my children from the moment they were born. Even when in an incubator after having been born prematurley. My children loved books when they were young – not so much now as they are young adults but I hope they come back in time. They were always bringing me books to read. It was such a favourite pastime of ours from reading during the day, to reading at bedtime where I would make up silly voices for the characters, to reading in the bath with the waterproof books and poetry tea where they all had a special mug. Precious moments with my childen and books.

    Today I was walking along the coast path to Nanjizal Beach. A very blustery day and being in the elements really helped me to integrate my healing. The wind was at times pushing me off the path. It was difficult to keep grounded and centred. I kept on and I arrived at Nanjizal Beach. Beautiful even in the gloominess and moody sky. The path is there, it twists and turns and we may get blown off course but we will end up at our destination if we trust and have faith.

    Trust, faith and knowing that all is well and all is right.

    With Heart

    Sarah xxx

  • Day 7

    I really dont know what to write today. I have been on my counselling course all day which has been so good. I am learning alot about myself and how I relate to others. I feel very tired and not particularly wordy tonight. I do however, want to keep myself accountable to my commitment of blogging every day.

    I am feeling that I really dont have that much to say which makes me feel that I am boring and who is going to take the time to read this. I know I am not boring and to to be honest it doesnt matter if this doesnt get read. I am not looking for likes, just my commitment on my journey.

    With Heart

    Sarah xxx

  • Day 6

    I am on my counselling course this weekend and I am having to be mindful of food and parking. I did end up having my dinner tonight at Toby Carvery which I know is a big chain. However, I feel that at times I may need to compromise. I had a good meal at a reasonable price. I also bought a book online today for my further studies – Carle Rogers, On Becoming A Person. This will help to develop my knowledge on Person Centered Theory so feel the value of spending money for this is worthwhile.

    I couldnt find a free parking space this morming after having driven around for a while to find one. I ended up parking in the car park. Sometimes that is just going to be necessary, despite my best efforts.

    Today has been a really good day with lots of validation of my decesions and depper awareness and growth.

    With Heart

    Sarah xxx

  • Day 5

    What a wet and windy day. A day to feel truly alive. Sat outside in a local cafe/restaurant with a wonderful friend watching the sea and the weather, enjoying the connection with each other and nature over a hot mug of chai latte. This is soul living, This is where I am happy to spend some money and feel the value. Truly wonderful.

    A sip of the milky drink feels like velvet in my throat

    The smell of the sea tickling my nostrils

    The joy and the laughter dancing in my eyes

    As I weave my soul with his

    The ease, the intimacy, the love

    Shining brightly in the stormy sky

    With Heart

    Sarah xxx

  • Day 4

    Today has been a good day. Im feeling lighter. I think the energy of the full moon has been heavy this week and has really made me feel alot more sensitive. I definitely feel the energy has shifted today.

    I have still been really disciplined but did resort to buying chips for my tea tonight. I had a busy day with mobile clients and really couldnt be bothered to cook.

    After yesterdays blog and the poem I wrote I have been reflecting on the Friends sitcom.

    I do enjoy watching clips on the reels on Facebook and often sit down and watch a few. They always bring a smile to my face. I didnt watch them when they first came out but then watched them all a little while years ago.

    Now in my late forties I am really aware of some of the toxicity within the series that has been portrayed as commonplace – gaslighting (Joey does this alot under the disguise of being funny), the toxic on off relationship with Rachel and Ross, Ross’s Insecurity and jealousy and manipulation to name some examples.

    I wonder what others think and feel when they rewatch. We have so much more awareness now around these toxic behaviours, yet they are seen as normal. No wonder so many people experience these type of relationships when we are being subliminally programmed.

    I would love to receive any comments about this from others perception.

    With Heart

    Sarah xxx

  • Day 3

    So far I am really enjoying this journey. Its very early days. So many conversations are being had which is wonderful. Its so good to question ourselves and be curious.

    I am also loving the creative aspect with making the commitment to write every day. I find writing to be so healing and is really helping me to work through my emotions. If I can write through my emotions rather than spend money to suppress my emotions that is such an achievement and a beautiful legacy.

    I wrote a poem earlier today that I want to share:

    Loss

    Who am I without him

    Who am I without the familiarity

    Of him

    Of long standing patterns

    Of the ups and downs

    The passion

    The softening

    The calm

    Then the disconnection

    The chaos

    The uncertainty

    The self doubt

    The repair 

    Back to the calm

    Only for the cycle to repeat again 

    And again

    And again

    Is this who I am

    A jumbled mess of anxiety 

    Wanting the calm

    The love

    The presence

    Not being able to get off this roundabout

    Where is the exit

    There must be an exit

    Somewhere

    I find the exit finally

    After so many turns on what feels like this never ending roundabout 

    Now who am I

    Present I am an emotional rollercoaster

    Still with the ups and downs

    But now without him

    My heart wants to heal

    My soul wants to heal

    My body wants to heal

    I slow down

    I listen

    I cry

    I sit with all my sadness

    Sadness that it didn’t work

    Sadness for losing someone I loved 

    Sadness for losing myself

    And sadness for my inner little girl that craved love so much that she abandoned herself.

    So what have I really lost

    An illusion, hope and fantasy.

    I am so much more

    I deserve so much more

    I have a heart full of love

    To now give to myself 

    With Heart

    Sarah xxx

  • Day 2

    Today has been a hard day emotionally. I have been feeling very sad today. My heart is hurting. However, I havent resorted to spending to make myself feel better. I have had some interesting converstaions with friends regarding my choice to not buy into consumerism. So many people are supportive its wonderful.

    I did discuss the difference with buying a latte in a small, local coffee shop as opposed to Costa etc and came to the conclusion that for me its not only about not supporting big corporations but also looking at if I need to spend the money. Did I need to buy a latte? I have an electric milk frother at home and am able to make my own lattes so for me this answer has to be a no. Win. However, I did miss out on interacting with the lovely staff in the coffee shop.

    I also looked at where I parked today at work and decided I would park a little further away and walk – really not far-meaning I saved on the car park costs. Massive Win. Not supporting the councils ridiculously overpriced car park together with being more active by walking.

    I have also been considering about blogging everyday when some days there may not be much to say. I suppose I will feel into it and go with the flow.

    With Heart

    Sarah xxx

  • Day 1

    I have been having some interesting conversations with my daughter about my decision to commit to not buying into consumerism for a year. Mainly, does that mean you are not going to treat us now? we are still your children and you have to buy us things. To let you all know my daughter is 15 years old and we all know that teenagers very much only think of themselves typically and especially with girls, the drama involved, is very much heightened. This journey is going to test me on so many levels.

    Today is my first day of my commitment, novelty is high, expectations are high and the enthusiasm is also high. I aslo feel anxious, a little bit lost and a little empty.

    I have been contemplating what Consumerism is. Here is the dictonary definition:

    consumerism

    noun: consumerism

    often derogatory

    the preoccupation of society with the acquisition of consumer goods.

    “many people are becoming increasingly conscious of the environmental impact of consumerism”

    2.

    the protection or promotion of the interests of consumers.

    “the growth of consumerism has led to many organizations improving their service to the customer”

    What does consumerism mean to me?

    Buying products that I want rather than need. Feeling that for me to be happy I need to buy something that contributes to my happiness. This is usually in the form of clothes and books, candles, crystals and food and drink (lattes not alcohol).

    For me its also where I contribute to the mass market, corporate giants that do not support the local, small buisnesses.

    As well as not buying more products, its also making me look at where I spend my money. Am i supporting local, small businesses or the corporate giants?

    I have already had a dilemma today. My daughter has asked if we can go to the cinema this afternoon to see Zootropolis 2. My first thoughts were that kind of goes against my commitment – on the very first day – this is going to be so hard. Then I thought well actually its a wet day and going to the cinema is a fun family activity so I agreed. However, after sitting down to write some of this blog I have come to the conclusion that it does go against my commitment by supporting corporate giants as well as fulfilling instant gratification.

    I want connection with my children. This can be done by having a movie afternoon at home. No need to spend money at all.

    The movie afternoon didnt happen. The chidren were annoyed with me – not in a big way – in a vocal, teenagery way. I was told I was boring and they werent bothered about spending time with me, they basically just wanted me to pay for them to see the film.

    This commitment is going to be really good for me in seeing where my boundaries are and how to build connections without spending money.

    As a society we are so ingrained to spend money to have fun. I am guilty of this. No wonder my children want me to spend money going to the cinema. This is such an eye opener for me and looking deep into myself as to why I need to spend money to have fun.

    Have we lost the art of being bored? Finding creative ways to engage ourselves?

    What do you do when the weather is wet and windy outside?

    I ended up going for a 10k run and got absoultely drenched. It was liberating. I really enjoyed the run and being in the elements. I have contributed to my fitness and wellbeing in a healthy, active way and no money was spent. And those feelings of anxiety, emptiness and feelist lost were greatly diminshed.

    I am healing from a difficult relationship on various levels and the clarity that is beginning to come to me is profund and fundamental to me moving forward in my life.

    I can see where I take responsibility for others feelings and then work to fix at the detriment to myself. Today has been a lesson in holding true to myself even faced with the disappointment of others. It has opened conversations with my children about taking responsibilty for our own lives and the choices they have, what consumerism is and why I am doing this.

    I am not sure they completely understand, thats ok, I dont need them to. I can be ok with them thinking I am boring and no fun. Oh the joys of teenagers.

    Tonight I am going to support a local comedy troupe, The Plymuff Players, with their first comedy night in Plymouth. This is what its about. Supporting local people, local businesses and making memories.

    With Heart

    Sarah

  • The Eve of My Year of Not Buying into Consumerism

    I am sat in my lounge at 5pm having decided tomorrow Monday 1st December I am going to go on a journey. This journey is not going to be physical , rather, an internal journey and exploration into committing to not buying into consumerism for a whole year.

    What does that mean?

    I am not going to buy non essential items for a whole year. An interesting time to start with the run up to christmas, which is typically a very consumerist time of year.

    Why am I doing this?

    To look deeply within myself as to my spending habits, my addiction to spending money, what spending money is masking and learning to live a more simplified life. I am also wanting to document this journey to hold myself accountable and to maybe inspire others.

    How do I feel about this journey?

    I am feeling excited, apprehensive, fearful. I can already feel the weight of my addiction to spending money. Can I really do this? I am going to have to dig deep if I am to suceed on this journey.

    I commit to uploading a post every evening, journalling my experiences of that day. My feelings, thoughts, wins and failures.

    Its a poignant time at the moment. I have just come out of a difficult relationship where I have had to really look at my patterns and no longer want to be in a unhealthy relationship. I am also not long about to embark on my last year in my 40’s. What will this journey uncover? Will I bring my subconsious beliefs and patterning into the conscious and be able to make informed choices based on awareness and growth?

    I would love any support as I embark on this year of deep exploration into myself.

    With Heart

    Sarah xxx

  • Hello World!

    Welcome to WordPress! This is your first post. Edit or delete it to take the first step in your blogging journey.